Terrible Twos

Webster's Dictionary defines the word TERRIBLE as:

ter·ri·ble [ter-uh-buhl]
adjective
1. distressing; severe: a terrible winter.
2.extremely bad; horrible: terrible coffee; a terrible movie.
3.exciting terror, awe, or great fear; dreadful; awful.
4.formidably great: a terrible responsibility.

I would have to agree with all of those definitions because Gage's behavior can be distressing, extremely bad, horrible, exciting terror, awful...

For Example:

When Gage gets frustrated you can bet that he will:
A. Throw himself on the ground and scream
B. Throw something hard at your face
C. Slap you with his hand and then look at you and wait for you to do something
D. All of the above

When Gage gets like this I often wonder how people have more than one kid. Honestly...more often than not I don't think I can handle having more than one! I've heard it all though.
"Once you have another kid it will make Gage's behavior better."
"But Gage needs a sibling to play with."
"You don't want to have just one..."

Gage is almost 3 and so far we've got his temper 0% contained. No points for us. We are "letting him win" as some people tell us. Well guess what...we're trying!!

Gage is a great kid by far, but the tantrums and constant battles kill us. I can't wait until its summer so we can shove him out the dog door and let him run amock in the back yard. :)

Jon had a doctor appointment with his oncologist today for his biannual routine check up. This mostly consists of blood work being done, the doctor pressing on the lymph nodes, scheduling a CT scan and talking to Jon about anything abnormal going on. Jon's back has been hurting him for a few weeks now and we haven't thought any thing of it. If the pain doesn't go away within a few days the doc is going to order Jon to have an MRI.

It's crazy how we can get in our routine of normal every day life and not think about how the cancer can come back at any minute. How it could be growing inside Jon's body even now. Especially when the first time we only caught it because it started attacking his appendics. These check ups are real eye openers for us. Who would have thought that back pain could possibly be linked? It's weird. We're pretty sure it will turn into nothing. Just routine back pain from shoveling so much snow....but the fact that the doc could get an MRI done makes all the worry come right back. I've programmed my brain from automatically thinking its cancer when Jon says something is wrong...but this makes me think maybe I should??? It's very hard finding the balance.

We're not going to freak out with worry until the time comes to do so though. We've learned that worrying does nothing but make things so much worse. So we'll keep an eye on things and go on with life as normal. Jon does have a CT scheduled for March though to check all the organs in his body to make sure they're doing okay and cancer free. We'll keep you posted on how that goes. And if he has to get an MRI too....we'll let you know.

Life is short...play it up. :)

Perspective

Having taken a step away from the life that has been stressing me out, I've been able to put things back into perspective. Hours of therapy weren't able to do what these last few days were able to do.

I've realized that all this time that I've been stressed out and overwhelemed is because I've basically been trying to move a boulder with a toothpick, when really I should have been trying to climb over the damn thing.

I'm trying to change things that can't be changed. Which makes me mad and frustrated and overwhelmed and irritated....

Here's what I've come to realize....and I need to remember these things every single day!

1. The only person who can make me happy...is me.
2. I can't please everyone, so stop trying!
3. If I want something done right, I need to just do it myself.
4. Life is short, play it up.
5. If I want to be happy...I will be happy.
6. Fake it until you make it, but don't lose sight of who I am.
7. Take things slow...life doesn't need to be a race.

Here's to getting back to the fun loving Cristy that I used to be. Wish me luck!