I grew up thinking that my adult life would be much like the adult lives that I saw around me. You go grow up, get married to the person you love, go to work, go home, cook dinner, talk and play with the kids and go to bed.
Rinse lather, repeat.
But my adult life is nothing like how I expected it. I get to do all of the above activities...but no one told me about the worries that came with being an adult. Where's the money going to come from to pay for a new windshield on the car? Will I ever get to buy new work shoes? Why are my physical ailments happening at the young age of 29? Will my husband's cancer come back, and if it does what will we do? Was it having a child, my husband getting cancer, or both combined at the same time the reason that our marriage isn't the way I hoped it would be?
I keep asking myself questions like this....and honestly I'm not getting any answers. I keep telling myself that all of these trials and struggles and heartbreaks...are just God's way of testing us. What happens when we're tested and we fail?
We're very lucky to have a healthy, almost three year old little boy. To love and hug and kiss all the time. He's healthy, he's independent, he's stubborn, and he tests our patience every single day. But he is a great reason to get out of bed every morning and continue chugging along regardless of whatever else we're going through. He's our light when we're having a dark day. That's one of the best things we can hold on to.
I just hope that someday the only worries we'll have are whether we should get pizza or Chinese for dinner. I'll always opt for pizza. ;)
2 comments:
Cristy life is not a fairy tale but you can dream it is,
Because I do. I am Cinderella.. Live happily ever after.
But without good and bad adventures what good would Iife be, boring, and predictable.
You both should stop worring about when the cancer will come back and live like you have no worries, love like it is always the best of times.
You know we all have money problems we do what we can and pay what we can. You know money and bills just suck. It is so hard living payday to payday but we all do it.
You need to always remember that you are never alone 90 percent of the world is the way are right now.
This too shall pass.
Love you
Aunt Marlaine. :)
just looking through my "family blogs" file....Your Aunt Marlaine is right on. If we take life a day at a time, we make through the challenging times and take time to enjoy the times when all is well. I, too, dreamt of a fairy tale marriage. I didn't know that marriage was hard and took work. I had no comprehension of how much difference a child made, of how much difference serving in Viet Nam would make, of how un-well I'd adjust to farm life with no days off, no regular paycheck, no sick leave. I often wondered why I was supposed to be a mom and how my marriage would bring the promised joy. 45 years later (and it did NOT take all those years) I know the joy of my marriage, the love and support of my 7 adult children and their spouses, the wonder of grandchildren, the wonder of watching my children with their children (and nieces and nephews), the happiness bursting the seams of our house as you all gather, and the supreme calm of snuggling with each new grandchildren and the thrill of watching them grow. Hang in there and look for the happy minutes. They're there but somehow it's always easier to see the negative....I love you!
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