I Want To Feel Cherished

I don't know when my life got so complicated. I want to believe that I used to be happy. I try hard to make it so my life is happy. But that's just not the case any more. I don't want to admit that I've given up even trying to find the happiness. My kids are my happiness. I wish I could say there was more in my life that makes me happy. But to be realistic, there's nothing else. I'm not appreciated at work. I'm not appreciated at home. In my fantasy world I have a happy house with a husband who cherishes me, appreciates everything I do, and lavishes me with attention. Fantasies aren't reality sadly. So I trudge along at work unappreciated, which makes me just want to do the least amount of work possible. I get the kids and go home and juggle playing with both kids, finding something to eat, bathing both kids, getting them ready for bed, clean up the house as much as I feel like, and fall asleep exhausted next to my son. Rinse lather repeat. I get no attention from my husband, no thank yous or appreciation, and I only get told what I do wrong. Not much in this world that will ever make me happy no matter how hard I try.